I started this post with intentions of giving you step by step details of my lackluster day. Then after "step" two I decided that it was definitely way too lackluster to even do that.
There is a lot going on around us right now. Well, not nearby, but near to our hearts. Jeremy's dad is being released from the hospital (in Orange Park, FL) today. He was admitted Wednesday night after being dehydrated and disoriented. On March 13th, he had a double hernia operation that was to alleviate pain he was in. In addition to this, he is dealing with colon cancer right now. There is a large tumor on his rectum that is quite painful. During this most recent hospital visit, he was advised he had three different options that he could ultimately choose from, and was provided detailed information on all.
Now, Jeremy's dad, David, is a holistic type of (very unique) person. He feels that he can fight this naturally like he did when he was younger. He is 73 now. The game is different. I think he refuses to acknowledge that. We just received a text this evening advising us that he is going home from the hospital today, I guess he made a decision. Jeremy's mom, Lynn, doesn't know much. She just knows she's on her way there as of now, and he made a decision (sounds like without his partner of 37 years...). From what we can tell so far, he decided not to make any of the three options given to him. He, instead, has decided to do some "protocol" a Boston doctor that believes in his ways has advised him to do. Which I think is absolutely absurd. Time is ticking... you're 73... suffering and in pain... sometimes you can't just "see what this will do first, then make a decision about another option later."
David is an absolutely stubborn fellow. He's a great man, but stubborn and sometimes seems self-centered when it comes to his health and not caring about what others are going through trying to see him through this. I guess he truly does take "put yourself (#1) first, no matter what" to heart. This is just making it even harder for Lynn to deal with.
I can't imagine being in her place. Where concern turns to heartbreak turns to anger turns to resentment all at a time you probably need to put that aside most. How can you do both?! Put aside, but yet feel what's natural for humans to feel?! Ahh, I feel for her. :(
I have a very dear woman to my heart in ICU still (since March 12th). I don't think I have enough words to express what she and her family mean to me... I could have a separate entire blog dedicated to her and the family and what the past 9 years has been with them and how they have helped me grow. She is fighting to get better everyday. She has multiple myeloma cancer to begin with. It has been in and out of remission. She has been dealing with it with the chemo and such.. which had eliminated all her white blood cells. She was attacked by E.Coli. This was so scary and the roughest two weeks I have ever had to deal with back in March, when she initially went in. I can't imagine her family. My heart feels for them every day, even still. I am so concerned, and so worried. I know she's a fighter and fighting everyday... she's a hero of mine for sure. I should have started writing this blog back when it all started....
There is so much that I recall that I should have started this blog for a LONG time ago.. which I tried, but didn't get far. I hope to catch some raw emotion this time around... as I dedicate myself to enter a post everyday.
Those two figures are constantly in the forefront of our thoughts right now, amongst dealing with our daily routines.
The routine today was sleeping, gym, tanning, lunch, laundry.. and I'm making rice krispie treats for Easter to send in with Jeremy since he has to work tomorrow evening. This is the first time in a long time that I have had absolutely no plans for Easter, and no where to really go. Which brings me to this whole South Carolina thing...
Today I have officially felt homesick like a MOTHER! I have a bit of acquaintances here, but feel as though I don't really have any FRIENDS. I miss Jacksonville and wish I had my friends back. I know distance can't part us, but man... this sucks. All the Navy wives here are quite interesting to say the least and I haven't really found any that are my "type" or that are without kids. It's insane. I have met some lovely ladies, don't get me wrong! There is no close-knit community of any sorts when it comes to here, though. I was expecting something like the Bahamas station -- where everyone knows almost everyone (or for the most part) and everyone can get together at some point or another and just have fun. It's a much larger base, so obviously within reason I expected that. ;)
Then I wonder... is it me?! Couldn't be... not based on my network in Jax... but then who knows.
I'm just blah lately. It's affecting everything I think. I'm tired all the time, I feel like poo, I just don't have much motivation for anything... no one to share it with at the moment it feels... as far as girlfriends go. I absolutely have a blast and enjoy my time with my husband, but outside relationships with others, I think, is very important, and we don't have that. :/ We definitely had that in the Bahamas. Nothing like the family type close-knit relationships we had there.
There's a couple not Navy related that we had spent a lot of time with, and loved doing so... but I think Jeremy's schedule has really jacked that up for the time being. Hard when he is on nights.
Stay strong, though! It's the best for his career right now... and being at that depressing place he works...
I guess that's all that's on my mind right now... back to the lackluster-ness of laundry and boredom for me...
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